● yes,,, there is an excuse,
you must have heard about some type of spiders which
the woman one eats the male one
after mating
what would you do if you were a horny male spider?
would you wank for your whole life?
or wouldn’t you consider being gay ?
don’t be that thick,
I would tell my ‘spider’ wife, I love you Lora but I love myself too
you, give up your diet and this nasty habit
or I’ll go out with my friend Bob
(the guy who escaped from Mary during making his son Jimmy)
see,,,things can be simple
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● She has a Bulletproof smile
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● Freddie, today is the day he passed away, I’m sure he was a man with big personality.
To those who still love him


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● modern Romeo
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● when I say 'trance' I mean this but live
Armin Van Buuren - Zocalo
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● The question is:
if you think there are so many stupid people around you, then does it mean
that you are intelligent or you are very stupid?

The other things is:
I think if you use the word ‘Idiot’ or ‘stupid’ in your speaking a lot
then you somehow look clever.

Warning:
it doesn’t work for the word ‘gay’
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● live information from the planet of the apes

I was chek’in a history book
he came in and said: we shouldn’t go about things which happened ages ago
cause I bet somth’in similar has happened more recently
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● من نمیفهمم این چه مملکتی شده
اگه کسی فردا بیاد بگه الاغ خر است
ترکها اونور بهم میریزن آخه چه ربطی داره?!!
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● Ladies and gentlemen
I'm not joking ,this is not hoax, it may sound unusual but
the latest and very important News is:
مراسم نیمه شعبان در کربلا بدون حادثه پایان یافت
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●

Police

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● yeah,,, I became snobby, philosophical and crap, so, I quoted myself :
camel is a horse designed by committee.
and he ,with his numb brain, asked: which committee has designed it?
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● never judge a person on his behaviour
or appearances
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● when dream, I mean daydream, I visualise and imagine the whole things
like looking back to the past, resembling it is now year 2040 and today is only my remembrance...
I don’t know if I laugh or feel nostalgic, but I think the latter is less likely because I don’t believe in the ‘good old days’ myth
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● sometimes the reason for hugging is not intimacy but is to escape from an eye contact
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● What do you mean ‘ I understand French but I can’t speakFrench’?
this is absolutely bollocks! if you ‘understand’, repeat just what you heard
and ‘understood’.
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● some people are selfish and go on living!
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● if you have verruca,
come to our local gym,
share it with your irritating neighbours!
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● 'we are the good people'
oh come on!,,, old chestnut
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●

The statue represents the god Chac, holding a human heart in his left hand and a drinking cup in his right.
(Photo courtesy of the Instituto Nacional de Antropologiá e Historia)


The other thing
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● THE OTHER THING

Oh ,sorry,sorry! but people with pacemakers don’t have their heart taken out
and a pacemaker popped in!
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● "Cogito Ergo Sum"

excuse me mate he didn't say
'I know I'm about, cause I dream.'
actually what he said was something like 'I think, therefore I exist.'

and the other thing is that the correct pronunciation of his name
is not like 'DIS KART' but 'DE KART'
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● ای که ازکوچه ی معشوقه ی مامیگذری
برحذرباش که ازکوچه ی معشوقه ی مامیگذری
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● Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone
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● Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.
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● Your underwear is £4.99 for a three-pack.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
It’s good to be man!
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● the thickest book he has ever seen is Argos catalogue
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● He said:let there be light and there was light
all I’m saying is,,,why didn’t he say let there be man,and
there would definitely be a man and he needn’t do all those
messy methods with mud and rib?you know,he’s always been a bit of show-off
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● why do you need ten thousands of songs
in your pocket, where do you wanna WALK?
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● how many times do I have to sit here and you say:
‘All I'm saying is...’
and the stream of nonsense hits me in the face
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● -if you could be anyone in the world, who would it be?
-dead or alive?
-why would you choose to be a dead person?
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● - have you eaten anything?
-no...I’m starv’in
-look, I can come over and cook you someth’in
-no...it’s half eleven and you...are one of those gals who can’t cook
-ya
-bye
-bye
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● Big city life

mp3
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●

تو که فکرات به کل هی عوض میشه

یه پرینتی هم هر چند وقت یه بار به ما بده

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● 'Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid'
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● Whoregasms
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● ye Pandas
everyday they come on screen and shout on telly :Pandas save Pandas....they ganna extinct


so what???!!!
we don’t kill them we don’t eat them we don’t shoot... it is not my business if suddenly they find shagging quite a bit boring...
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● The days of pearly spencer(David mc williams)
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● for a gambler the only gamble is not to gamble
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●

-.......
-are you mental? or what?
you can’t get into a sex shop ask the guy over the counter and buy some sex,
-......
-yes I know that they call themselves sexshop
but they don’t sell sex, what do you wanna ask? can I have two Kg sex please or a pack of sex please ...or,,,i don’t know,,,,are you an idiot?
-.......
-emmm thats a good idea,,, fuck one get one fuck free!!
no,, no no you’re complete nuts
-......
-what?!!!!! you’re fuck’in moron,,, imaging putting a prostitute in a
box like...emmm... those photo tak’in machines and,,,
-......
-lol ...let me tell you something once I saw your ideas written
on a wall ,and there was written SHIT!
-....
-no this is not disrespect, you’re juss mental
.......


fact: this piece of writing is just partially based on a true story

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● when Gandhi came to England a reporter asked him: what do you think
about western civilization?
he said: I think it would be a good idea


that is my beloved sarcasm
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● دیگه هر احمقی میدونه که داستان چوپان دروغگو معنیش این نیست که نباید دروغ بگی٫معنیش اینه که یه دروغ رو چند بار نگو!
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●
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● Kasabian -Processed Beats
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